Showing posts with label personal ranting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal ranting. Show all posts

Jan 20, 2012

My 'Special' Day


It all starts , when you wake up with a bump on your forehead ( Mosquitoes in Kerala have apt timings!)
Then you're not allowed to go to receive your best friend.( You're the bride, you should always stay in.)
You're not allowed to 'talk too much.' ( Your 'frightening frankness' might just offend people )
Dont laugh loud (It is interpreted as indiscipline)
Dont play with or carry any babies.( They drool and spoil your saree/makeup. The stiffness of the saree becomes more important than showing your love to the one thing that brings you utmost happiness - babies)

Not to mention the beautician, who transforms you into 'the frog princess' you heard of in books and fairy tales ( No exaggerations here)
And the photographer who would make you go “ Im gonna kill you, and I will die too”

All you know is you are a puppet ! “Tilt your head, come forward, lean backward, open your eyes, show your teeth while you smile, look into the lens”- puppet!

And you cannot give ANY of them your piece of mind ( #1 Its not ethical to interfere in someone's work. They should be given their freedom to work. #2 You would be upsetting your dearest ones who hired them for you. #3 Giving your opinion= Throwing Attitude. And when you're the bride, its a BIG NO -NO )

So you don't know who came, who passed, what did they think of the food? Did they enjoy the time they spent?

You are so miffed and miserable that you do not want to even look at the man, you have been waiting and pining for. 
You want the day to end!
You wanna run home and grab his T shirt , bury your nose in it and melt in that smell of his sweet hot sweat, hoping it would drive away all those dreadful moments of your horribly 'special' day.

“Its your day” they say. And thats the day, they walk all over you.
Not over! As a final means to torture , you also get to sing a song and entertain the guests.
And there!!! Congratulations to you! You've finally earned the trophy for the 'most annoyed bride'!!

P. S : I only got engaged! The big day is yet to come! Sigh!
P.P.S: But there were a few moments that cracked me up though. Like when the groom gropes for your feet with his, to check if you're wearing sandals . And a few real cute ones. Like where you look the ring before you put it on him and you see the lines ' Like a moth to a flame' engraved on it  :)


Aug 9, 2011

Its called Patience


Disclaimer: Hard-core Ranting.................. I wouldnt mind it if you moved on without reading

I am committed life long, to a philosophy of 'love-all'. Yeah, I never had to try .It just comes to me.
And its not in my nature to dislike people.
But lately I have realised that there some people Im beginning to not-so-like very much.

It has taken some real hard work on your part to earn that, people!!

So here are the fabulous four who has made it to the top:

# 'Im All-Important'

These kinds ARE important, they KNOW that they are important, and the part that I dislike about them is that they love to inject their importance on others.
The interesting thing is that they are intelligent enough not to come across as boastful or boisterous. They are the ones who have cleverly mastered the art of what I call 'subtle-extortion'.
They bully you and make you feel cheap and good-for-nothing in the most dignified manner.
You tend to have a strange sort of respect for  the shadow of authority they cast upon you, but you also want to curse them, for the Dementorial effect they have on you.
Yes, these people are capable of sucking the happiness out of even a Patronus Charm.
These power hungry ones are happy as long as you're feeding their ego. And don't you dare get tired of it, otherwise you're counting at some really bad days.
Dear 'Nota Bene', Its nice to be important. But I think its more important to be nice.

# 'Im in awe of you'

Im afraid to say this, but you guys are a nuisance. Im sorry if my charisma is that overpowering and overwhelming, theres nothing much I can do about that. It doesnt feel all that good when you try to drool me in your uber-nonsensical-flattery. And its not-so great, to keep hearing “ ohh, you're so cool” every 10 secs in a 5 minute conversation. And it shouldn't bother you, what diet I follow , or what I sleep in, and what color my nail-paints are!!!!
So if Im too polite to shoo you away , you'll take advantage of my niceness??
You're lonely, I get it. 
So, heres a piece of advice for you.............
Dear 'Awe-full', If you can't enjoy your own company, atleast don't inflict it on others.

# “I always want to help”

Im a girl, agreed, but I don't need you all the time. I would like to do some things on my own.
Yes, I know the world is bad, and there are scary vultures waiting to devour on me raw, but honestly, I feel much safer when Im alone.!
I appreciate all the efforts you have taken , all the ways you have went out of, to make things smoother and easier for me. But trust me when I say this, all of your 'creative intervention' ( read interference) has only messed up my life. It shouldn't offend you when I refuse your help next time around, because I have learnt to ask or receive only from 'the givers of a higher level'. Who would not make me feel like a debtor.
But if you're thinking this a good way to woo me , by hammering down such unwanted concern and unnecessary care , then Dear 'Helpful', you're much mistaken.

# I am always right

They studied the right thing, they are working at the right place, they are getting the right sum and got married at the right time to the right person.
These people are the only ones apparently, who are leading the most successful life. Rest of us are losers!
They have made the most intelligent decisions in life, and rest of us are about to doom because we studied literature and now wants to make documentary films.
“Archiving traditional art forms?? Whats the use ??Such a waste of time and money!” ( I should ask your mother if she thinks of you the same way, now that you've grown up )
“Not married?? You will grow up into a frustrated grumpy old woman” ( Getting married to someone like you would be suicide, I prefer being the grumpy grandmother, Thankyou!)

It doesnt matter to them, if you are the first woman from India to win a Green Oscar , because at the end of the day you are not them. They are themselves the benchmark of being 'successful'.And that means you are not a success in life unless you have an MNC job in a metropolitan city, and a non working spouse with a professional degree who came with a dowry almost as worth as one of those treasure chests uncovered at the Padmanabhapuram Temple, and finally two A+ scoring kids studying in the most expensive CBSE school in the town.
Dear 'Always Right', Please get back to me on how dirty my door carpet is, when you have cleaned up the mess in your own backyard!


Dear Reader,
If  you have sat through this post till here, please allow me to let you know that I am blissfully blind to flaws and imperfections in most cases. Please judge this only as a momentary venting out of some pent up feelings. Otherwise I am extremely tolerant with all of the above 'dear-ones' usually. After all, its my fervid conviction to try and put up with all those who wants to put me down. And I believe that is what you call patience.