Looking back at 10,000

He did something last night that he never does in public. As soon as we placed our orders and said our quick 'thankyous' to the waitress, he takes my hands from across the table to squeeze them gently ( never done that in public, has he? NO!!)  and says " Happy 10,000th Day to you, Grandma ! "

At first I go, "WHAT"? and then I'm like , "Oh my God!" . He smiles.

Yeah, My husband's slightly weird that way . No dinner surprises for our first anniversary but surely he has planned one for my 10,000th day.

So yesterday I turned 10,000 days old!

Facebook is busy celebrating their 10th by' looking back '. So I thought that must be a real clever thing to do today.
I don't have a cheesy movie with a fine piano background to share. My Facebook life ain't  too fancy,  I realised.

But here are the top 10 things that happened to me in the last 10,000 days:

1. Grew up from a messy eater to appreciating food, flavours and ingredients.
2. I have started understanding political news. The 'logic, doesn't elude me anymore'
3. It took me all these days to become a girl, an 'emotional being' as they say. Now I cry shamelessly watching upworthy videos, laugh at silly jokes and smile at simple things.  ( More about my struggle to be able to CRY can be found here.)
4. My life long ambition to weigh at least 50 kgs has been met. ( Thanks to a certain Ninja growing inside me) Everyone single person who gave me hell just  because I was slim can go flog themselves now!
5.  Found and lost Music - and have now come to terms with the unfathomable.
6.  I think I have also finally learnt to separate fantasy from reality. ( Saves you from unwanted disappointment )
7.  I was lucky enough to learn Sanskrit, and get introduced to Vedanta. ( And the learning  continues...)
8.  It's true what they say. 'An idea can change your life'. For now,there is an 'Idea', that inspires me every single day. Finally there is a sense of purpose and commitment to life. (More about it, in good time.) 
9.  Gratitude- I have learned to love life and be truly thankful for what I have ( Wouldn't have really understood this without my husband. So, Thankyou ! Once again!)
10.  I finally understand LOVE, and I proudly consider this to be my biggest achievement so far.

I'm really glad and content with this list. It's quite a reassuring reminder that you aren't doing too bad in life.

Are you 10,000 days old yet ? If Yes , what does your 'look- back' say?

P.S :  I also slogged my way to 10,000 hits on this blog

 So here is a  bonus point - 

11. I started a blog which I callously  left unattended for almost a year , and I never lost even one follower?  That is too good to be true. Thank you guys, for all your kindness! 

Just Today

Its just today. Today is not like other days.

Today I wanna go back to riding my rusty old cycle in the University campus.
Today I wanna go back to watching Che Guevara movies and feel goosebumps.
Today I wanna sit under the tree drinking Bada Chai and discuss perhaps 'cultural hegemony'?
Today I wanna huddle up with my mates and create a storyboard.
Today I wanna pack my camera and tripod and set out to shoot the labourers in South Campus
Today I wanna dream of making that one difference they keep talking about.
Today I wanna go and howl at the moon near the new chemistry block.
Today I wanna sleep in the edit suite.
Today I wanna eat  Pesarettu and Bagara Baigan from the Mess.
Today I wanna laugh at my blunders.
Today I wanna cry over my fears.
Today I wanna spit on my content.
Today I wanna thank all my mistakes.

But then its JUST Today.

'Cause tomorrow I'll wake up, drink a bottle of water , brush and bathe, make tea and breakfast , get ready and go to work.

And forget about Today.

Of a Mouni Amavasya, and this lovely creature called my husband.

Oh yes, there is something like that too for us.
The Amavasya that falls after Shivarathri that is. And the practice is to observe complete silence for a whole day, not to mention the upavasam ( which means, you dont eat the whole day, unless you choose to, which is just one very light meal and that too something that is NOT rice )

You wanna know how it went ? Gooooooorgeous  ( In a high pitched octave )!!!!

• You don't have to answer to ANYTHING.  Ain't that really cool!?
• You don't have to give your opinions on any matter . Totally what I need !!
• It makes you a better listener.  Not just listening to others but listening to yourself  too.
• It somehow conserves so much energy .  I really din't know that so much got used up in just talking, let alone getting into trouble for it.
• And who knows you might also get to play 'call-on-half-cough games' with your husband.

Like this one , for instance:-

"Ahem , Ahem !!"
 He turns around, looks at you. So you roll your eyes , make a cute puppy face and look at the jug of water on the table and then right back at him . He smiles, picks it up for you. 
"Ahem Ahem" ( again)!!. 
Now he decides to join you in the game. "Oh , let me guess, you want a glass to drink the water?"
The puppy eyes goes : Blink Blink !! 
" Err, then do you want me to plug in the laptop charger for you ?" 
Eyes : Blink Blink !!  
"Ooooh !! The clothes?? Do you want me to fold the clothes, on the chair ??"
 Eyes : Smile !!!  :-D

Oh I know what you're thinking ladies.....  :-P. But this ain't over yet.

"Ahem Ahem !!"
 This time, he turns around and stands akimbo," Alright, Now What ??" 

Then you make the fish face and blow a kiss at him . And he laughs hysterically !  : D

The only time I totally forgot about my Mouna Vratha was when I noticed a small microphone on the  Google search bar which said 'Speak now'. It wasn't a promotion for the Taylor Swift album.  And in that utter moment of curiosity to find out how it worked , I called out loud to the computer screen " Who is Douglas Adams?" !!!!!And just as google gave me its search results, I realized how dumb I was!!

But all jokes apart, I wasn't too bothered about not being able to speak . What I really missed to my horror was one of my deepest darkest fears........... ( wait for the drum roll) SINGING . :-(

I had the hardest time resisting my urge to sing. Every time, I would want to hum a song, and I had to remind myself, No, I can't! At least not today.
I have penned down about my struggles with this before right here. And today I'm married to the man who was my solace, those days. I can't appreciate more, how much he has tried to help me get over it, since then and still does.

This man, who remembers to kiss me even in between his deep loud snores. ( I find that really funny and adorable at the same time). This man who did not forget to grab my hand and drag me along; before he jumped out of the bed and dashed out of the room in the middle of the night  ( Umm. Bad dream. Earthquake , apparently. Lemme not say more :-P) 
This man who honestly puts an effort to understand me better everyday and loves all my in-capabilities alongside my mad love for him.

Dear Moth,

Its an honor to be your wife. And I bet we'll have loads of fun growing old together. :)

Oh, Happy Birthday by the way ;)

Love ,
Flame.

Free From YOU

Im Sorry, we turned bad and bitter
Im Sorry, we grew far and foreign
Im Sorry, we are strange and stiff
Im Sorry, but I want to be free from you

You remind my debts and don't let me dream
You reflect my pain and make me scream
You bring out my worst , let alone rest
To free myself of you, I think is best

Hoped you would help, not hurt me
Wished you would love, not mock me
Now I wonder if you'd ever be proud
Now I think if you'd ever let me be.

Forgive me for giving up on you
Forgive me for trying so hard
Forgive me for losing all hope
Forgive me for freeing myself from you

SNAFU,SUSFU, TARFU,FUBAR,.....aaaand BOHICA.

No, I haven't gone cuckoo.
I just feel , Im on a warfront, and its been officially declared  SNAFU -  " Situation Normal: All f***ed up"  But its bin quite sometime now , and now I feel, SUSFU - " Situation unchanged : Still f***ed up"  And in no time Im gonna be TARFU - " Totally and royally f***ed up". And I really hope I dont become FUBAR - " F***ed up beyond all recognition".
Why?
---------------------
Scene : Railway Police Station Secunderabad.


Seriously,this is not what I expected a police station to look like. It was like any other Govt. office. Documents literally flying all over the place. Not many of them are in their uniforms, sipping chai, jabbering away in telugu. Pot -bellied , mucchad uncles all of them. Some tall , some, not-so-very-tall.


Police Uncle: Ammayikku Em Aayindi? ( What happened with this girl?) He asks without looking up at me.
Me : Sir, I lost my bag, sir. Before Guntur, somewhere close to Nidubroli.... The robber has left another bag, in place of mine, sir. ( I showed him the bag I found- My consolation prize which had an umbrella, a half drank bottle of Minute maid Orange and a duplicate RADO wrist watch)


Meanwhile a group of men hauled in a real skinny fellow and led him to another room nearby.
In the Background : Dishoom Dishoom Aaaaarrrrgggh


Police Uncle: What you lost?? ( in a  strong Telugu accent)
Background : " ledu ledu sir, leduuu, nenu cheptha... cheptha" ( No, No no no Sir, I'll tell ... will tell)
I tried my best not to get distracted by all the wailing and howling behind me and said  "Sir, Nenu Lap top bag, ID cards , Return Train Tickets, Exam Hall ticket, Konjam Loose cash, inka konjam necessary clothes motham poyindi , sir."

Police Uncle: Laptop-u???
Me : Ledu Sir, No Laptop.

Police Uncle: "Give me one written complaint", and passed over a plain white sheet of paper to me.

As I went and parked myself outside the station to write down the complaint, my eyes quickly scanned over  the notice board which had photographs of wanted burglars, suitcase lifters, pickpockets, and chain snatchers.

And Maaaan!! Dont they all look decent! Some of them have even suited up for the photograph. Meanwhile a lady came out of the station, crying, begging, pleading.................and from nowhere did it look like,she was  trying to find a missing bag, it looked more like she couldnt find .........a person.

And I prayed silently for her, ' may it NOT be her child, Oh Lord!' and finished my letter.
I ran in back to hand over the letter to Police Uncle, and he points to chair and says " Kurcho amma" ( Sit, girl)

I sat , and waited!
He came in and out., and finally came in again, asked me to get up, took my chair and turned it towards an old  computer . He opens a word file and starts filling in my details. He types in such a pace that I wanted to politely tell him, 'Uncle ......err can I help you' . It took him a full 20 minutes to just erase the details  of the previous complainant and fill mine in.
I stood there. Admiring my patience , observing my growling stomach and appreciating his diligence.
He copied the document in a thumb drive and went out. When he came back with the print out, he asked me to sit again and  explained as he placed his signature and seal . " Look Amma...., this certificate should be enough for you to travel to your exam centre and back to Kerala. You can provide this at your examination centre also for duplicate hall ticket."

I thank him and open the document to read it, and it said.

 " This is to certify that the following person lodged a complaint stating that she lost her belongings while travelling to Secunderabad.
A thorough check has been carried out but the missing bag and its content were not traced. In this regard all possible efforts were made to trace out the missing bag and its contents , but in vain.


Hence Certified. "


Signed
Sub Inspector of Police
RPS- Secunderabad  


P. S : The TTE in train had consoled me earlier, " Be grateful that YOU were not harmed. Forget your bag! This form is just a formality beta, now move on with your life"
P.P.S: An elderly lady consoled me, " Think that you've donated all your stuff to someone" (Yeah, right! How benevolent of  me to give away my bra-panties )
P.P. S.S: The first two things I checked as soon as I realised I lost of my bag was:
1) My wedding ring : Its there. Thank lord platinum doesnt look pricely
2) Moth's Tee : My only consolation in FUBAR situations. That thankfully was in my suitcase , so the good news is I can still bury my face in it and sob.

BUSY BEE

When half the nation is watching IPL, I’m watching..........Guess what??

Scripps National spelling BEE!!!  (BAH!! Can’t care much for cricket anyways, let alone IPL, however much glamour attached to it.)

And lo!  Half the contestants in the competition are Indians. And apparently its always bin that way. And Oh boy, aren’t these kids SMART!!!

I can understand if a 10 year old can ask for the definition, etymology, part of speech, alternative pronunciations, and guess the spelling of a word.  I have seen enough spelling bee contests to digest THAT fact. If you have learnt enough French, German, Italian, Greek and Latin ( thats too many languages already for a 10 year old) you can break down the roots and guess the spelling of a hell lot of words in English.

But words that originate from Papuan, Aramaic, Hebrew, Mayan, Finnish???

These words that don’t even exist in normal dictionaries???

And you see 12, 13, 14 year olds spelling Words like Huipil, puszta, zwischenspiel, preux, jugendstil….

Yeah!! What the ****! My reaction exactly! I can’t even spell 'bourgeoisie' sometimes without referring.

And here are some of these spellers’ favorite words: cwm and humuhumunukunukuapuaa. ( I dont wanna even comment on that!!)

Do you want to be astonished every single moment as the young BEES spell a word right and feel the same pressure every time they're a given a new word. Do you want feel joy, disappointment, confusion, and nail-biting excitement without the ruckus of pointless commercials in between?

Sukanya with her trophy

And do you want to feel pride every time an Indian wins? (Like I felt last night when 14 yr Sukanya Roy from Pennsylvania walked away the champion after the spelling ‘cymotrichous’), then may be you should watch Spelling Bee, especially if you're a Logophile like me.

P.S : 2012’s Spelling Bee is going to be telecast on ESPN this May 30 and 31.Please don’t mind if I aint blogging much, ‘cause I’m busy watching BEE!! J

I want my life.........................

Disclaimer: Time pass writing ahead.......  Apologies for not showing up regularly !!

Super busy , tired and mostly day dreaming..... So here is a glimpse to some of my fleeting thoughts, which I had to quickly hold by its tail and struggle and juggle to force it onto the blog. 

I want my life..................

                                                                               

To be an Einaudi playlist.

With no lyrics you smile, without wings you fly

To be a Mindy Gledhill song

And float like “a scoop of vanilla cream in strawberry soda”

A Shakespearean sonnet, a poem by Neruda

A parmesan Pizza, a fruity Faluda

A prose by Lamb, A Murakami story

A tulip garden in all its glory

A van Gogh painting, A Tuscan villa

A sunny afternoon over a yummy Quasedilla

To be as pure as the driven snow

And as delicate as the morning dew

To have the beauty of a setting sun

And the calmness of a millpond

To be wild, full and free all above

And to always have you and your love

My 'Special' Day

It all starts , when you wake up with a bump on your forehead ( Mosquitoes in Kerala have apt timings!)

Then you're not allowed to go to receive your best friend.( You're the bride, you should always stay in.)

You're not allowed to 'talk too much.' ( Your 'frightening frankness' might just offend people )

Dont laugh loud (It is interpreted as indiscipline)

Dont play with or carry any babies.( They drool and spoil your saree/makeup. The stiffness of the saree becomes more important than showing your love to the one thing that brings you utmost happiness - babies)

Not to mention the beautician, who transforms you into 'the frog princess' you heard of in books and fairy tales ( No exaggerations here)

And the photographer who would make you go “ Im gonna kill you, and I will die too”

All you know is you are a puppet ! “Tilt your head, come forward, lean backward, open your eyes, show your teeth while you smile, look into the lens”- puppet!

And you cannot give ANY of them your piece of mind ( #1 Its not ethical to interfere in someone's work. They should be given their freedom to work. #2 You would be upsetting your dearest ones who hired them for you. #3 Giving your opinion= Throwing Attitude. And when you're the bride, its a BIG NO -NO )

So you don't know who came, who passed, what did they think of the food? Did they enjoy the time they spent?

You are so miffed and miserable that you do not want to even look at the man, you have been waiting and pining for. 

You want the day to end!

You wanna run home and grab his T shirt , bury your nose in it and melt in that smell of his sweet hot sweat, hoping it would drive away all those dreadful moments of your horribly 'special' day.

“Its your day” they say. And thats the day, they walk all over you.

Not over! As a final means to torture , you also get to sing a song and entertain the guests.

And there!!! Congratulations to you! You've finally earned the trophy for the 'most annoyed bride'!!

P. S : I only got engaged! The big day is yet to come! Sigh!

P.P.S: But there were a few moments that cracked me up though. Like when the groom gropes for your feet with his, to check if you're wearing sandals . And a few real cute ones. Like where you look the ring before you put it on him and you see the lines ' Like a moth to a flame' engraved on it  :)

What are they made of ???

Living alone is so much easier. You wake up whenever you want. Cook and eat whatever you want.

Who cares if you haven't made the bed?

Or left the tea cup all day on your table, till you finished that book.

You don’t have to worry about feeding your family, cleaning the house, fixing that faulty phone, washing clothes, or watering your plants.

Functioning in a family; being at HOME….is altogether another ball game.

I made the terrible mistake of helping my mom in the kitchen yesterday. And now I drown and drench in remorse and shame, feeling like a worthless worm.

  ---------------------------------------------

Woke up slightly early, and gave a hand in making a few chappatis, and a curry; and let her go to get ready for work, as I washed the vessels and cleaned the kitchen.

I was feeling both happy and worried.

Happy ; for I was able to give her some time off!

Worried ; 'cause I took almost two whole hours to complete the most basic chores in the kitchen. (I gotta do some serious catching up)

Just when I was filling my chest with that pneumatic pride of being the most dutiful daughter, I see my mom coming out, her forehead smeared with chandanam.( sacred sandalwood paste)

So what was our lady doing with that extra few hours that I worked hard to give her?

She prays! “Its Makayiryam”, she says. “Its good to fast today, for the well being of your children”

I give her sometime for herself, and she spends it all off praying for her kids!

I stood there for a while, knocked out- my eyes following her but meanwhile imagining if I would have the courage or strength to be half of what she is, when I get there.

This woman, who still holds the stitches down her stomach every time she coughs, asks only one thing of me as she rushes to work, “Eat on time, darling”.

She fasts, and I have to make sure that I eat!

I sat down at the porch, till I saw her take the turn down the road and wondered......

Mothers!! What are they made of? Really?

And somehow Im reminded of a quote by one of my favourite authors: “Think what cowards men would be if they had to bear children. Women are altogether a superior species”*

* George Bernard Shaw

P.S: And today, our lady is fasting for her Husband's well being (Thiruvathira)! Mothers, I tell you!!

P.P.S: Sorry guys! Im actually in a phase where Im thinking, “Men are great! And every woman needs one” And Im in no mood for any sort of male bashing, But I just couldnt help but agree with Mr Shaw here.

All about Silent Prayers......

Absolute gratitude is what I feel now!

Complete awe and reverence for every single moment that I got to live and experience.

Have you ever had such glorious moments- the strength and the sweetness of which brings you down on your knee?

Have you gone through feelings that simply cannot be penned?

Experiences which cannot be held in words? The ones you know that wouldnt be just to reduce them down to words?

So precious that you know not if you're worthy of such a privilege.

And you are so content that you cry.

And that riveting release of tears strangely enough brings you joy............. not happiness........ JOY!!

And in that beautiful blessing, that sweet sadness, that piquant pining, that mighty madness....

All that you can do is send out a prayer.......

A silent and sincere one.

Life has been about such silent prayers lately....

It makes me wanna spin!.... Slowly spin like a sufi monk! 

P.S : Im home, and guess what I find? Chingaari is pregnant! AGAIN! :)

These days...: A Reverie!

I have a screaming nose! Really big! He pulls on it every morning and wakes me up. Yeah HE wakes me up! I would open my eyes into the most beautiful and exquisite smile on the planet .

He laughs and dashes out into the living room. I jump out from my bed, and run after him. I can see him hiding behind the curtains and peeking out...So I sneak up slowly and lift him from behind .....and his laughter fills my morning! And my home!

I carry him into the bathroom and pull out his foot-stand for him so that he can see himself in the mirror, while he brushes with me.

These days, I dont have to help him with brushing. But he still wants me to take a look at his squeaky clean teeth and wants my approving nod, before he can climb onto my back for his morning salsa.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things”

I go about in the kitchen making breakfast, with this l'il giggling piggy on my back, singing with him.

“Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things”

And if I get the lines wrong , he would just sink his teeth onto my shoulder. Im extra cautious now.

These days I rehearse his class rhymes and songs before I can say 'Amen' at night . And I would get the 'stares' from his daddy.

No one believes me at work when I say ,the reddish-purple bruise at the back of my neck is a punishment for goofing up some rhymes.

These days I spent more time on sites like, howstuffworks, answer.com and wikipedia rather than youtube and my favourite blogs. How else will I find answers for questions like “ Why will I not get red , if I mix blue and green”?, “ Why is it that 'girl-cows' dont have horns?” “How is that daddys got a different smell”? “ What does daddy mean when he says 'that was orgasmic' at dinner?

These days, I look more stumped and astonished than ever. Gone are the days when he would point his finger and say 'Ga Ga' or ' Thaa Thaa' and I had to only reply with monosyllables  like, 'fan' ' ball' and 'doll'.

And this morning I rush both son and father to the door as usual to wish “Good day”. His dad picked him up so that he can reach my cheek to kiss me goodbye. He slips his hand around my neck , presses his tiny lips on my cheek and then looks at me , eyebrows creased and says “You look tired darling, may be you should take an off and just sleep the whole day”

My eyes popped , out of sheer shock.

And I told myself as I watched them walk down to the porch “ They grow up really fast these days, dont they”?

P.S : I wanted to write my version of 'Dream Children' from the day I read Charles Lamb.( except that I dont like waking up from the dream)

But HE doesnt have a name yet. Any suggestions??

The moth and the flame

When your feet drags, where it used to sprint

When your eyes smile, where it used to squint

When your hand trembles, where it wanted to grab

And you forget to breathe, but rather gasp

You look away, and your eyes wander

Not 'cos you want your mind to ponder

For, you just dont want your eyes to tell

What your heart is afraid to say

Then comes the day you learn from a moth

That “the flame has always been you”

 Then you know, those awkward silences that passed both

When you run out of things to talk; been 'cause neither could say 'I love You'

A secret desire to hear it from him and wish

He might have whispered  under his breath

“Funny, how lil we remembered of each other back then”

And what would it take now to forget.

And so is this how it really feels?
To fall that hard, with nowhere to land

That quiet shudder, when you watch him stand

'Unable to stay …....and unwilling to leave.....'

The one on Serendipity, a bulky Uterus and the constant Pregger!

“Serendipity is a fortuitous discovery, especially while looking for something entirely different”, says the dictionary. Happy accidents , basically!

But I wonder if there is a word for eerily awkward and embarrassing accidents! All you Logophiles,...... HELP me out please .'Cause, I would really like to know what this thing is , that has been happening to me over and over again.

And Dear Holy-Whoever out there, I pray and beg you, to not make the world any smaller. This is too weird for me to handle!

But may be not as weird as holding your own Mother's bulky uterus I guess.

Now how often do you actually get to see the womb you were born in?. So I couldnt get more excited when I had to play the dutiful child, helping with Amma's Hysterectomy.

No..... I chickened out when the doctor called for us to hand over the neatly chopped out uterus . Though people who saw it told me it looked as big as me when I was born :P

But the whole experience was sweet! Taking care of Amma was like taking care of an over-grown baby. Helping her walk, bathe , pee...... dress her up, feed her, put her to sleep every night with lullabies.....

To wake up alarmed in the middle of the night every time she coughed in her sleep, or when she tried turning over to the other side.....

Im really glad I could be there to just do all that for her. I miss smelling her cheek whenever she grinned at me!

I miss the smell of my home ... the smell of ploughing in the nearby field...that balanced blend of cow-dung and earth …thats one damn sweet smell that brought tears of happy memories and got me all nostalgic! I had completely let myself out in that delicious aroma, when she 'purr'ed and brushed her ear against my ankle.

'Chingaari' --my neighbour's cat. She is a constant Pregger! I cant recall the days when I saw her not carrying. She's loaded , all the time. Now , Im not very cat-friendly, but this sweetheart here has managed well to win me over.

The only sad thing about her getting pregnant is that, she fails to protect her new-borns, mostly. The kittens are killed and eaten up by a wild cat every time. I never get to see her babies. They are murdered, even before they can open their eyes. Poor Chingaari runs around the house crying and mourning; worse, lactating. And my heart goes out to that helpless mother every time!

But this time I helped her keep a watch on her babies! And touch-wood, all her three kittens are still alive. And they all look just like her, beautiful black and white fur balls!

Have you heard of this age old belief that if a cat litters in your house, it will bring you good news!?!

Last time Chingaari littered and her kittens survived, my sister got engaged!

And guess whats the good news this time?

No prizes for guessing, Im gonna be an Aunt! :D

First Blog award!

This is way too early. I have a blog, but I also know that having a blog doesnt make me a writer... I ramble.... I cant write …. at least not yet!

But it was very sweet of Spaceman spiff to think I have the potential

So Im just going to quietly follow the drill and be done with... and perhaps pass on the award to some bloggers who I think really CAN write. :)

Now for the usual tradition

# Link back the person who gave you the award.---- check!! 

( P.S : Thankyou... Its a Really Nice Birthday Gift!)

# 7 Random things about you (This wasnt very easy, I swear)

1. I sit still in my bed and smile .... every morning, at least for an hour. I cant start my day without that bit. 
2. Strings---- I have a huge crush on plucked instruments-- Acoustic Guitars- Flamenco, Baroque, Harp, Banjo- Oud, Kora, Sitar, Shamisen, Biwa, Ukelele, Balalaika...... the list never ends. Play me something really romantic on any of these, and Im yours........they have such an effect on me.
3. Im anti-diamonds! I probably would say NO to any guy who might get down on his knee offering me a diamond ring .
4. I love talking to myself and to my imaginary friends when Im in the loo. ( yeah, thats where I play out most of the conversations ---- the ones which I wish I were part of, the ones which I screwed up, the ones I wish would happen in real life........... I know what you're thinking now, but please keep it yourself :P)
5. I shamelessly ogle at babies. One reason why I love Anne Geddes. She makes me wanna get all those babies in a box and keep 'em for myself.( Reminds me of how Spaceman Spiff and I would go to the 0- 3 year old section at every store, and end up smelling, kissing and “awww”ing at cute tiny lil striped baby socks, night pants and dresses, till the people around gave us “ the looks”)
6. I love stationery- newly sharpened pencils, gel pens, rulers, erasers, sharpeners, notepads, calendar books, diaries, pen-holders, paper weights, scrap books................ you know what Im talking about.
7. I collect Nat-Geo photographs. I used to have a white board in my hostel room.... with all these pictures pinned up. Now since I have no access to the magazines , I collect them online.

My favourite song: Very very very unfair question! But I dont wanna break rules here... so here's one song Im quite popular for.

My favourite dessert : Death by chocolate , Chocolate souffle, Molten chocolate cake, …. basically anything just chocolate would do! But the caramal pudding I had with AJ at Casa Piccola was orgasmic!

What pisses me off : I just cannot think of any!.....I'll let you all know when I have one!.

Biggest fear: A cage........... being a prisoner of my own mind................NO I take that back.......my biggest fear would be not being able to Love.

Best Feature: A friend who was once opening the car's door for me, looks down and holds sight of my ugly ass feet, makes a really sad expression..... and looks up to say it on my face. But ends up saying..

“ Wow... you have ( stammers.... and finally blurts out)…...you have really beautiful eyes”!!

So EYES it is! ( 'cause I still, clearly remember the look on his face)

Everyday attitude: To find awesomeness and happiness in every single thing around me

What is perfection: Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring!

Guilty pleasure: Cheese balls : I think Im addicted to it. I find it really hard to stop munching on them. I love everything about it--- The bland taste of the cheese, the crunchiness of the corn grits and even the stale smell of it :P 

#Give the award away to 15 other bloggers--- Check

In random order

# Zeba- She's one blogger whose words have made way it into my small notebook .

# Just Kalpana- If I were a book publisher, I would sign a deal with her.. for a comic book series called “Stumped”

#Thomas theCat- I spent one whole night reading every single post in his blog. He's got a piquant sense of humour..........Im sure you'll like him.

#VnP- I think he's a really good writer, If only he blogged more often ( perhaps full-time writers need other pass-time activities)

#Toddler scribbles- That's no toddler-scribbling . Read her , and you'll know why

# Lilyferus- Im really really glad that I got to know her! She's a nut case and I just love her for all the brilliant madness that she is!

# Keep Smiling- He is just like the name of his blog.. .. all smiles!.. And an infectious one that too . He's got this amazing talent of spreading those smiles as well.

# Blue Lotus,Cloud Nine and Nirvana: Im new to their blogs....and now I regret I couldnt get to them earlier!.

# Hey you, Spaceman Spiff, Full-Adda Diddi.- uhhh...... errr...........hmm... There are no words that can describe you guys!.... Instead I'll give you all a bear hug!!

# Chocoholic, and Red handed :You've become like family now....:) I get worried if I dont get to read a new post of yours every week.

EAR MILK

Background Note: Introducing a dear friend, VnP ( Visions and Perceptions), who took sweet pains to turn an otherwise boring birthday of mine into rather a memorable one.

I hadnt moved an inch from my bed that day and I was almost positive that Im in a relationship with my mattress and pillows , when he calls up and says, “ Im not happy with what Im writing. So how about I just give you a list of songs I like, and may be catch up over dinner tonite?”

So I quickly take a cold shower, which I thought might slap me awake from my 'comfortably numb' state.

We ended up in TGIF and over the first half we spent there, he kept telling me that I was lost!

And I kept telling myself,.......Gosh, Im getting old!

We decided we wont order for the dessert. We are so stuffed already!

That thought had hardly passed when the service lads of TGIF comes to our table with a delicious looking chocolate cake and a CHAIR!.

And what happened next must have been a very good laugh for everyone else in the restaurant . 'Cause I was dancing on that chair to a Birthday song I've never ever heard in my life with all the waiters singing and clapping around me. ( Apparently thats the TGIF tradition!)

Thank you VnP! Perhaps another day, I 'll get back to you for that!

You can find much of his sensible, hilarious and very very creative writings , ramblings and character sketches here , here and here.

So heres his choice of songs for now. I like all of it already. Hope you all like 'em too.!!

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Foals - Blue Blood

Beautiful vocals. Peaceful guitar. And it all picks up gently to a nice crescendo. And lets you fall from there slowly. You will probably go back to this song for its opening.

Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks

Another Indie band, but these guys have made it pretty big. The song is smooth with a very catchy chorus and the whistling bit in between just nails the song.

(Yes, they've been Vevo-ed. That means they are going up the commercial charts.)

Charlotte Gainsborough - Trick Pony

The Myntra ad had this amazing amazing track. Just when we were thinking it was an original, comes Charlotte Gainsborough with Trick Pony. Her album IRM is a brilliant mesh of electronic sounds, heavy percussion that also includes some unconventional Indian bits. But for now, Trick Pony.

Gotye - Somebody that I Used to Know (Feat. Kimbra)

Last year I discovered Heart's a Mess, and Gotye does it again with this song. Eclectic sounds, beautiful arrangement and that quintessential Gotye vocals. Give it a listen on good speakers or headphones. The chorus is again really really lilting. And wait for Kimbra to arrive with her bit.

Junip - To the Grain

In all this Junip has to be the find of the month. Amazing vocals from Jose Gonzales. Beautiful sounds layered with synths, acoustic guitar and that voice that will just set your heart going. The live version of Junip's To The Grain shows how beautiful their music is inherently, unlike bands like Weatherwanes who sounded really terrible live.

-- Gopi

Im a girl .... and Im an emotional creature!

It was just a few years back I discovered that tears,....................... tears can liberate you!

It took me 19 years of my life to cry ….....My folks back home still tell people of my heroic childhood stories, of how I wouldnt even wince, if I got myself cut, or If Im hurt while playing. My knees or fingers would bleed, but I'd wipe it off with my skirt and get myself upto the next mischief.

For me, crying or being emotional in any way until a couple of years back was synonym to being weak!

And I always wanted to be brave.

Now as I look back, I see what a coward I was to hide and hoard all my true emotions . I ran way from them rather than expressing, confronting or owning them.

It took 19 years for the floodgates to open and unleash the wrath within.

I cried that day without a break for an hour and a half ( no exaggerations here) and that too in a public forum with tonnes of young people staring at me.

Reason?? I cant remember …..........I know, its all the denying of being emotional, refusing to 'feel' and the suppressing of 'feeling' that got me there.

The reason didn't matter anyways. What mattered was that the heavy and iniquitous ice berg of piled up emotions had started melting. What mattered was the process ---- the purgative effect . What mattered even more was that this breaking down, thereby had shaped me into a much braver person. And what mattered most was that I had discovered the 'girl' in me.

I love being the 'girl' now. And this is for all those who loves being in touch with the 'girl' in them.

***I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE

I love being a girl.

I can feel what you're feeling

as you're feeling it inside

the feeling

before.

I am an emotional creature.

Things do not come to me

as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.

They pulse through my organs and legs

and burn up my ears.

I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off

even though she appears to give you what

you want.

I know when a storm is coming.

I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.

I can tell you he won't call back.

It's a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.

I am an emotional creature.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a
teenage thing
or it's only only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready.
They make me present.
They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature.
There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.

I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means
more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can take
away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.

This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be
if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry.
To calm it down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.
It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic ocean
to behave.

I am an emotional creature.
Why would you want to shut me down
or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.

I love that I can feel the inside
of the feelings in you,
even if it stops my life
even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track
even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional
I am an emotional, devotional,
incandotional, creature.
And I love, hear me,
love love love
being a girl.

***By Eve Ensler, a playwright and activist, is the founder of V-Day and author of 'Vagina Monologues'. And this is an excerpt from   I Am an Emotional Creature : The Secret Lives of Girls Around the World