Feb 6, 2014

Looking back at 10,000

He did something last night that he never does in public. As soon as we placed our orders and said our quick 'thankyous' to the waitress, he takes my hands from across the table to squeeze them gently ( never done that in public, has he? NO!!)  and says " Happy 10,000th Day to you, Grandma ! "

At first I go, "WHAT"? and then I'm like , "Oh my God!" . He smiles.

Yeah, My husband's slightly weird that way . No dinner surprises for our first anniversary but surely he has planned one for my 10,000th day.

So yesterday I turned 10,000 days old!

Facebook is busy celebrating their 10th by' looking back '. So I thought that must be a real clever thing to do today.
I don't have a cheesy movie with a fine piano background to share. My Facebook life ain't  too fancy,  I realised.

But here are the top 10 things that happened to me in the last 10,000 days:
  1. Grew up from a messy eater to appreciating food, flavours and ingredients.
  2. I have started understanding political news. The 'logic, doesn't elude me anymore'
  3. It took me all these days to become a girl, an 'emotional being' as they say. Now I cry shamelessly watching upworthy videos, laugh at silly jokes and smile at simple things.  ( More about my struggle to be able to CRY can be found here.)
  4. My life long ambition to weigh at least 50 kgs has been met. ( Thanks to a certain Ninja growing inside me) Everyone single person who gave me hell just  because I was slim can go flog themselves now!
  5.  Found and lost Music - and have now come to terms with the unfathomable.
  6.  I think I have also finally learnt to separate fantasy from reality. ( Saves you from unwanted disappointment )
  7.  I was lucky enough to learn Sanskrit, and get introduced to Vedanta. ( And the learning  continues...)
  8.  It's true what they say. 'An idea can change your life'. For now,there is an 'Idea', that inspires me every single day. Finally there is a sense of purpose and commitment to life. (More about it, in good time.) 
  9.  Gratitude- I have learned to love life and be truly thankful for what I have ( Wouldn't have really understood this without my husband. So, Thankyou ! Once again!)
  10.  I finally understand LOVE, and I proudly consider this to be my biggest achievement so far.

I'm really glad and content with this list. It's quite a reassuring reminder that you aren't doing too bad in life.
Are you 10,000 days old yet ? If Yes , what does your 'look- back' say?

P.S :  I also slogged my way to 10,000 hits on this blog

 So here is a  bonus point - 

11. I started a blog which I callously  left unattended for almost a year , and I never lost even one follower?  That is too good to be true. Thank you guys, for all your kindness! 

Aug 30, 2013

Just Today

Its just today. Today is not like other days.

Today I wanna go back to riding my rusty old cycle in the University campus.
Today I wanna go back to watching Che Guevara movies and feel goosebumps.
Today I wanna sit under the tree drinking Bada Chai and discuss perhaps 'cultural hegemony'?
Today I wanna huddle up with my mates and create a storyboard.
Today I wanna pack my camera and tripod and set out to shoot the labourers in South Campus
Today I wanna dream of making that one difference they keep talking about.
Today I wanna go and howl at the moon near the new chemistry block.
Today I wanna sleep in the edit suite.
Today I wanna eat  Pesarettu and Bagara Baigan from the Mess.
Today I wanna laugh at my blunders.
Today I wanna cry over my fears.
Today I wanna spit on my content.
Today I wanna thank all my mistakes.

But then its JUST Today.

'Cause tomorrow I'll wake up, drink a bottle of water , brush and bathe, make tea and breakfast , get ready and go to work.

And forget about Today.

Mar 16, 2013

Of a Mouni Amavasya, and this lovely creature called my husband.

Oh yes, there is something like that too for us.
The Amavasya that falls after Shivarathri that is. And the practice is to observe complete silence for a whole day, not to mention the upavasam ( which means, you dont eat the whole day, unless you choose to, which is just one very light meal and that too something that is NOT rice )

You wanna know how it went ? Gooooooorgeous  ( In a high pitched octave )!!!!

  • You don't have to answer to ANYTHING.  Ain't that really cool!?
  • You don't have to give your opinions on any matter . Totally what I need !!
  • It makes you a better listener.  Not just listening to others but listening to yourself  too.
  • It somehow conserves so much energy .  I really din't know that so much got used up in just talking, let alone getting into trouble for it.
  • And who knows you might also get to play 'call-on-half-cough games' with your husband.

Like this one , for instance:-
"Ahem , Ahem !!"
 He turns around, looks at you. So you roll your eyes , make a cute puppy face and look at the jug of water on the table and then right back at him . He smiles, picks it up for you. 
"Ahem Ahem" ( again)!!. 
Now he decides to join you in the game. "Oh , let me guess, you want a glass to drink the water?"
The puppy eyes goes : Blink Blink !! 
" Err, then do you want me to plug in the laptop charger for you ?" 
Eyes : Blink Blink !!  
"Ooooh !! The clothes?? Do you want me to fold the clothes, on the chair ??"
 Eyes : Smile !!!  :-D

Oh I know what you're thinking ladies.....  :-P. But this ain't over yet.

"Ahem Ahem !!"
 This time, he turns around and stands akimbo," Alright, Now What ??" 
Then you make the fish face and blow a kiss at him . And he laughs hysterically !  : D

The only time I totally forgot about my Mouna Vratha was when I noticed a small microphone on the  Google search bar which said 'Speak now'. It wasn't a promotion for the Taylor Swift album.  And in that utter moment of curiosity to find out how it worked , I called out loud to the computer screen " Who is Douglas Adams?" !!!!!And just as google gave me its search results, I realized how dumb I was!!

But all jokes apart, I wasn't too bothered about not being able to speak . What I really missed to my horror was one of my deepest darkest fears........... ( wait for the drum roll) SINGING . :-(

I had the hardest time resisting my urge to sing. Every time, I would want to hum a song, and I had to remind myself, No, I can't! At least not today.
I have penned down about my struggles with this before right here. And today I'm married to the man who was my solace, those days. I can't appreciate more, how much he has tried to help me get over it, since then and still does.

This man, who remembers to kiss me even in between his deep loud snores. ( I find that really funny and adorable at the same time). This man who did not forget to grab my hand and drag me along; before he jumped out of the bed and dashed out of the room in the middle of the night  ( Umm. Bad dream. Earthquake , apparently. Lemme not say more :-P) 
This man who honestly puts an effort to understand me better everyday and loves all my in-capabilities alongside my mad love for him.

Dear Moth,

Its an honor to be your wife. And I bet we'll have loads of fun growing old together. :)

Oh, Happy Birthday by the way ;)

Love ,

Sep 14, 2012

Free From YOU

Im Sorry, we turned bad and bitter
Im Sorry, we grew far and foreign
Im Sorry, we are strange and stiff
Im Sorry, but I want to be free from you

You remind my debts and don't let me dream
You reflect my pain and make me scream
You bring out my worst , let alone rest
To free myself of you, I think is best

Hoped you would help, not hurt me
Wished you would love, not mock me
Now I wonder if you'd ever be proud
Now I think if you'd ever let me be.

Forgive me for giving up on you
Forgive me for trying so hard
Forgive me for losing all hope
Forgive me for freeing myself from you

Jun 20, 2012


No, I haven't gone cuckoo.
I just feel , Im on a warfront, and its been officially declared  SNAFU -  " Situation Normal: All f***ed up"  But its bin quite sometime now , and now I feel, SUSFU - " Situation unchanged : Still f***ed up"  And in no time Im gonna be TARFU - " Totally and royally f***ed up". And I really hope I dont become FUBAR - " F***ed up beyond all recognition".
Scene : Railway Police Station Secunderabad.

Seriously,this is not what I expected a police station to look like. It was like any other Govt. office. Documents literally flying all over the place. Not many of them are in their uniforms, sipping chai, jabbering away in telugu. Pot -bellied , mucchad uncles all of them. Some tall , some, not-so-very-tall.

Police Uncle: Ammayikku Em Aayindi? ( What happened with this girl?) He asks without looking up at me.
Me : Sir, I lost my bag, sir. Before Guntur, somewhere close to Nidubroli.... The robber has left another bag, in place of mine, sir. ( I showed him the bag I found- My consolation prize which had an umbrella, a half drank bottle of Minute maid Orange and a duplicate RADO wrist watch)

Meanwhile a group of men hauled in a real skinny fellow and led him to another room nearby.
In the Background : Dishoom Dishoom Aaaaarrrrgggh

Police Uncle: What you lost?? ( in a  strong Telugu accent)
Background : " ledu ledu sir, leduuu, nenu cheptha... cheptha" ( No, No no no Sir, I'll tell ... will tell)
I tried my best not to get distracted by all the wailing and howling behind me and said  "Sir, Nenu Lap top bag, ID cards , Return Train Tickets, Exam Hall ticket, Konjam Loose cash, inka konjam necessary clothes motham poyindi , sir."

Police Uncle: Laptop-u???
Me : Ledu Sir, No Laptop.

Police Uncle: "Give me one written complaint", and passed over a plain white sheet of paper to me.

As I went and parked myself outside the station to write down the complaint, my eyes quickly scanned over  the notice board which had photographs of wanted burglars, suitcase lifters, pickpockets, and chain snatchers.

And Maaaan!! Dont they all look decent! Some of them have even suited up for the photograph. Meanwhile a lady came out of the station, crying, begging, pleading.................and from nowhere did it look like,she was  trying to find a missing bag, it looked more like she couldnt find .........a person.

And I prayed silently for her, ' may it NOT be her child, Oh Lord!' and finished my letter.
I ran in back to hand over the letter to Police Uncle, and he points to chair and says " Kurcho amma" ( Sit, girl)

I sat , and waited!
He came in and out., and finally came in again, asked me to get up, took my chair and turned it towards an old  computer . He opens a word file and starts filling in my details. He types in such a pace that I wanted to politely tell him, 'Uncle ......err can I help you' . It took him a full 20 minutes to just erase the details  of the previous complainant and fill mine in.
I stood there. Admiring my patience , observing my growling stomach and appreciating his diligence.
He copied the document in a thumb drive and went out. When he came back with the print out, he asked me to sit again and  explained as he placed his signature and seal . " Look Amma...., this certificate should be enough for you to travel to your exam centre and back to Kerala. You can provide this at your examination centre also for duplicate hall ticket."

I thank him and open the document to read it, and it said.

 " This is to certify that the following person lodged a complaint stating that she lost her belongings while travelling to Secunderabad.
A thorough check has been carried out but the missing bag and its content were not traced. In this regard all possible efforts were made to trace out the missing bag and its contents , but in vain.

Hence Certified. "

Sub Inspector of Police
RPS- Secunderabad  

P. S : The TTE in train had consoled me earlier, " Be grateful that YOU were not harmed. Forget your bag! This form is just a formality beta, now move on with your life"
P.P.S: An elderly lady consoled me, " Think that you've donated all your stuff to someone" (Yeah, right! How benevolent of  me to give away my bra-panties )
P.P. S.S: The first two things I checked as soon as I realised I lost of my bag was:
1) My wedding ring : Its there. Thank lord platinum doesnt look pricely
2) Moth's Tee : My only consolation in FUBAR situations. That thankfully was in my suitcase , so the good news is I can still bury my face in it and sob.