Im a girl .... and Im an emotional creature!

It was just a few years back I discovered that tears,....................... tears can liberate you!

It took me 19 years of my life to cry ….....My folks back home still tell people of my heroic childhood stories, of how I wouldnt even wince, if I got myself cut, or If Im hurt while playing. My knees or fingers would bleed, but I'd wipe it off with my skirt and get myself upto the next mischief.

For me, crying or being emotional in any way until a couple of years back was synonym to being weak!

And I always wanted to be brave.

Now as I look back, I see what a coward I was to hide and hoard all my true emotions . I ran way from them rather than expressing, confronting or owning them.

It took 19 years for the floodgates to open and unleash the wrath within.

I cried that day without a break for an hour and a half ( no exaggerations here) and that too in a public forum with tonnes of young people staring at me.

Reason?? I cant remember …..........I know, its all the denying of being emotional, refusing to 'feel' and the suppressing of 'feeling' that got me there.

The reason didn't matter anyways. What mattered was that the heavy and iniquitous ice berg of piled up emotions had started melting. What mattered was the process ---- the purgative effect . What mattered even more was that this breaking down, thereby had shaped me into a much braver person. And what mattered most was that I had discovered the 'girl' in me.

I love being the 'girl' now. And this is for all those who loves being in touch with the 'girl' in them.

***I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE

I love being a girl.

I can feel what you're feeling

as you're feeling it inside

the feeling

before.

I am an emotional creature.

Things do not come to me

as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.

They pulse through my organs and legs

and burn up my ears.

I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off

even though she appears to give you what

you want.

I know when a storm is coming.

I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.

I can tell you he won't call back.

It's a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.

I am an emotional creature.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a
teenage thing
or it's only only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready.
They make me present.
They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature.
There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.

I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means
more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can take
away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.

This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be
if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry.
To calm it down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.
It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic ocean
to behave.

I am an emotional creature.
Why would you want to shut me down
or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.

I love that I can feel the inside
of the feelings in you,
even if it stops my life
even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track
even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional
I am an emotional, devotional,
incandotional, creature.
And I love, hear me,
love love love
being a girl.

***By Eve Ensler, a playwright and activist, is the founder of V-Day and author of 'Vagina Monologues'. And this is an excerpt from   I Am an Emotional Creature : The Secret Lives of Girls Around the World